- What self-talk is and how leaders can recognize positive and negative self-talk
- Our own grab bag of experiences with self-talk over 8 years of running a business
- How your self-talk influences your messaging (which influences your growth)
00:00 – 2:50: Welcome and Introduction!
2:50 – 12:48: How leaders recognize positive and negative self-talk.
12:48 – 16:05: Personal experiences.
16:05 – 18:25: Self-talk from the business perspective.
18:25 – 23:22: Self-talk as a leader.
23:22 – 29:54: Business messaging.
29:54 – 35:50: Things we can do to help our self-talk.
35:50 – 38:05: The need for reflection – wrap-up.
How leaders recognize positive and negative self-talk (2:50):
Self-talk is, literally, how you talk to yourself (shocking, right?). We do this all the time, usually without realizing it. More often than not, it shows up as bullying. That’s right: We are our own worst bullies. We talk down to ourselves all the time, and over the years it can turn into some pretty negative self-fulfilling prophecies.
So let’s dive in.
Check yourself (and your surroundings) and surround yourself with people who will keep you honest
It took a long time for us to recognize when we were engaging in negative self-talk. Over time, we’ve not only learned to identify it. We’ve also started calling one another out on it. Having someone who can help us reframe statements like, “That will never work”, or “I’m not cut out for that” is huge.
Don’t have a biz partner like us? Find a best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, child, or stranger off the street to be your self-talk accountability bud. It will make a world of a difference.
Recognize your ruts
The more you engage in something, the more it becomes your reality. If you’re used to talking down to yourself around certain topics (say money), then it will become normal. So normal, in fact, that you won’t realize you’re doing it. Being bummed about money is just the status quo. Self-deprecating humor becomes normal.
But this isn’t okay. I mean, can you imagine telling other people the sorts of things you tell yourself?
No? Then it’s time to rework that.
When you start to recognize the habits you’ve formed, and the beliefs you’ve created, it becomes easier to call yourself out. Of course, there’s more to it than that, but it’s a great place to start.
Personal experiences (12:48):
The business perspective (16:05):
Business messaging (23:22):
Things we do to help our self-talk (29:54):
Ready to set out on revamping your self-talk game? Finding awareness is the first step, and giving yourself time to reflect is critical.
If you want someone to help you on this journey, find a community or a coach to share in the journey. You don’t have to go it alone.
And don’t forget to reflect on how far you’ve come. If you’ve been walking this path for awhile, revisit your old messaging and clear it out of any lingering gremlins.
Have you ever bullied yourself? Share your experience (and how you overcame it) below.